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All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring

—

Chuck Palahniuk - Invisible Monsters

I never actually finished Invisible Monsters. I was in NYC age 17ish, had just finished Choke and it had all gotten to be a bit too much. 

Cathy Cunningham: hands closeup, progress.  Slow progress. Looks like i’m trying to do a Cezanne, but it’s just lassitude. things are broadly in the right place and the tone is almost right.  getting there, frustrating, but it will take shape. Will leave it until I come back in the Easter. I am fed up with hauling 30 canvases up and down the east coast of britain, only for them to sit around my room staring at me with such persecuting looks in their eyes as Cathy Cunningham has. People often comment on how kindly she looks. At first glance. But look again. It is not so simple. and it ought not be simple.  

Cathy Cunningham: hands closeup, progress. 

Slow progress.

Looks like i’m trying to do a Cezanne, but it’s just lassitude. things are broadly in the right place and the tone is almost right. 

getting there, frustrating, but it will take shape.

Will leave it until I come back in the Easter. I am fed up with hauling 30 canvases up and down the east coast of britain, only for them to sit around my room staring at me with such persecuting looks in their eyes as Cathy Cunningham has. People often comment on how kindly she looks. At first glance. But look again. It is not so simple. and it ought not be simple.  

Aphex Twin - Heliospan

will always be my fave aphex. sounds like quantum physics. Sounds like something we don’t understand

It was then that I had the bright idea of drinking myself to death. [ __ ] I’ve had enough of these streets that sweat a cold, yellow slime, of hostile people, of crying myself to sleep every night I’ve had enough of thinking, enough of remembering. Now whiskey, rum, gin, sherry, vermouth, wine and the bottles labelled |dum vivimus, vivimus…|.
Drink, drink, drink.
As soon as I sober up I start again.

—

Jean Rhys - Good Morning, Midnight.

This is the best book I have read in a long time. Sophia Jansen is a brilliant protagonist. 

Brought Rhys’s biog from Hatchards on the way home from the RA - ‘The Blue Hour’. will read it on the train tomorrow. It was raining and I had no money left to top up my oyster card so I though fuck it, and took a detour through Bloomsbury, checking out the blue plaques and I went past the 2 houses I lived in when I was little - on Gower street and Southampton Row. Went past Birkbeck, which was the start of my real education. 

cold rain, warm nostalgia! 

James Blake - Retrograde.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmm

my other acquisition! This one is cuuurious because the canvas is stamped on the back ‘Percy Young: Slade School of Art’. SO it must be between 1881-1930 (http://www.npg.org.uk/research/programmes/directory-of-suppliers/y.php)… looks its age too. It is unsigned, and the guy selling it suggesting it might be a millais, but I don’t think so, Millais was good with design and he was good- excellent, but not (in technique) this good. this is masterful. I think this might have been another slade student. millais… never painted like this.  does look a bit like john ruskin in the couple of years before his death The fact that it is unsigned just makes it more interesting,and I remember when I refused to sign my paintings because I thought it was vulgar. and then I became a student, and learned the value of money. Signature or no signature, it’s the best painting in my collection. I am going to get this one restored… when I get some money. Pawn more handbags :/ in fact, if it is signed it might be under hte layers of tobacco - and general - grime It is fantastic. I have nothing more to say. I am not worthy.  

my other acquisition!

This one is cuuurious because the canvas is stamped on the back ‘Percy Young: Slade School of Art’. SO it must be between 1881-1930 (http://www.npg.org.uk/research/programmes/directory-of-suppliers/y.php)… looks its age too. It is unsigned, and the guy selling it suggesting it might be a millais, but I don’t think so, Millais was good with design and he was good- excellent, but not (in technique) this good. this is masterful. I think this might have been another slade student. millais… never painted like this. 

does look a bit like john ruskin in the couple of years before his death

The fact that it is unsigned just makes it more interesting,and I remember when I refused to sign my paintings because I thought it was vulgar. and then I became a student, and learned the value of money. Signature or no signature, it’s the best painting in my collection.

I am going to get this one restored… when I get some money. Pawn more handbags :/ in fact, if it is signed it might be under hte layers of tobacco - and general - grime

It is fantastic. I have nothing more to say. I am not worthy.  

I just brought this painting by andre lhote. I like this guy.  Apparently he was a great teacher. I was looking at some of the photos of him in his studio surrounded by students, and he was working on this kinda shitty board. it’s clearly been nailed to something because it has holes all around it. shame.  People are a bit snobby about lhote, I suppose having one foot in cubism and one in fauvism at the time was like having two religions but I like his attitude and there is a sinuousness in all his work that I appreciate, even if he didnt have matisses sense of colour or picasso’s humour. When I’m rich I’ll get it restored. Maybe even sell it, although there are big problems with authenticating Lhote’s work. I don’t like much cubism, but i like this one^ It was only £50, not bad. Don’t think anyone else knows who Lhote is. If it weren’t for reading Lempicka’s biog I wouldn’t either. oh well, so much the better for me. 

I just brought this painting by andre lhote. I like this guy. 

Apparently he was a great teacher. I was looking at some of the photos of him in his studio surrounded by students, and he was working on this kinda shitty board. it’s clearly been nailed to something because it has holes all around it. shame. 

People are a bit snobby about lhote, I suppose having one foot in cubism and one in fauvism at the time was like having two religions but I like his attitude and there is a sinuousness in all his work that I appreciate, even if he didnt have matisses sense of colour or picasso’s humour.

When I’m rich I’ll get it restored. Maybe even sell it, although there are big problems with authenticating Lhote’s work. I don’t like much cubism, but i like this one^

It was only £50, not bad. Don’t think anyone else knows who Lhote is. If it weren’t for reading Lempicka’s biog I wouldn’t either.

oh well, so much the better for me. 

think the hands / arms are coming along.  although now I have made bk/g richer the face looks washed out. I don’t know.  very pleased with the thumbnail and the watch this photo aint good went to manet exhibit today and read an essay on Hals influence on Manet and how it helped him to develop his signature summary brushstrokes.  problem is that whilst that technique is lively it just doesnt work for an older person. some texture aside from just PAINT is necessary. I am getting there. havent worked on this one in months, but that manet gave me a fresh impetus.  going to look a bit more at velasquez. he’s the man. 

think the hands / arms are coming along. 

although now I have made bk/g richer the face looks washed out. I don’t know. 

very pleased with the thumbnail and the watch

this photo aint good

went to manet exhibit today and read an essay on Hals influence on Manet and how it helped him to develop his signature summary brushstrokes. 

problem is that whilst that technique is lively it just doesnt work for an older person. some texture aside from just PAINT is necessary. I am getting there. havent worked on this one in months, but that manet gave me a fresh impetus. 

going to look a bit more at velasquez. he’s the man. 

paintpotface asked: Hello. This is totally random i know but my mother used to babysit your dad :) Ann Taylor. (then Russel) Cathy gave me a link to your website. Your work is very good indeed. Take Care

Sorry for the delay, your message just slipped through the net… but that’s so strange! I shall pass it on to him tomorrow, i’m sure he will remember.

Thanks very much, it’s good to hear positive feedback. Painting is bloody hard!

Your own work is great, I like your style very much and i’m about to go back and take a better look at your tumblr, which you are clearly much better at updating than I am!  

^ Now this is how one ought to paint a duchess! Portrait of the Duchess de la Salle, 1925, Tamara de Lempicka de Lempicka… Another controversial but (often) brilliant ‘society’ painter.

^ Now this is how one ought to paint a duchess!

Portrait of the Duchess de la Salle, 1925, Tamara de Lempicka

de Lempicka… Another controversial but (often) brilliant ‘society’ painter.

^^THE CAT THAT GOT THE CREAM. this is such a good example as to why one hsould not work solely from photos she looks weird. CGI generated. its x10 bigger than lifesize… a bold move, but also Emsleys signature style. she’s a little chubby.. the mouth is awkward… looks like she’s concealing food. she looks like she’s wearing a synthetic toupee. colours very washed out. eyes are the best part, but a little lack-lustre since the whole surface of the painting is matt and soft focus. not really the right approch for a portrait of a young woman (worked beautifully for michael simpson). for all that people like to slam sargent and boldini (particularly the latter, understandably) for their fawning portraits of the aristocracy, you must admtit they have flair. They created sumptuous, lively and spirited portraits.  I don’t know a grat deal about middleton, she’s hansome - nice eyes/ everything in proportion, bright, well-mannered… this portrait does nothing to express her character. does she have any character? this recreation of a studio photograph does not say anythign about her. Why not have her sitting in her private library or on a horse or whatever it is she does - some context. You could always then modernise it - bold shapes, brighter colours whatever suits the current aesthetic. if that’s even necessary, I mean really. if people would only stop trying to make it new and start trying to make it better  Not only is this photorealism, which i don’t generally approve of anyway; it’s BAD photorealism.

^^THE CAT THAT GOT THE CREAM.

this is such a good example as to why one hsould not work solely from photos

she looks weird. CGI generated. its x10 bigger than lifesize… a bold move, but also Emsleys signature style. she’s a little chubby.. the mouth is awkward… looks like she’s concealing food. she looks like she’s wearing a synthetic toupee. colours very washed out. eyes are the best part, but a little lack-lustre since the whole surface of the painting is matt and soft focus.

not really the right approch for a portrait of a young woman (worked beautifully for michael simpson). for all that people like to slam sargent and boldini (particularly the latter, understandably) for their fawning portraits of the aristocracy, you must admtit they have flair. They created sumptuous, lively and spirited portraits. 

I don’t know a grat deal about middleton, she’s hansome - nice eyes/ everything in proportion, bright, well-mannered… this portrait does nothing to express her character. does she have any character? this recreation of a studio photograph does not say anythign about her. Why not have her sitting in her private library or on a horse or whatever it is she does - some context. You could always then modernise it - bold shapes, brighter colours whatever suits the current aesthetic. if that’s even necessary, I mean really. if people would only stop trying to make it new and start trying to make it better 

Not only is this photorealism, which i don’t generally approve of anyway; it’s BAD photorealism.


The prophet (profit) Working on both simultaneously. Didn’t expect to keep the top one, but I eventually saved it from it’s horrible greasy demise in a NCS kitchen. Not knowing I would eventually reclaim it, I included the little portrait in the larger painting because I just wanted a copy, not to make any particular point. But I dooo like to be meta, not in a meta-narrative sense because that would not be cool, but in the sense that the people from the PY3701 module complement me on my extraordinary metaness.

The prophet (profit)

Working on both simultaneously. Didn’t expect to keep the top one, but I eventually saved it from it’s horrible greasy demise in a NCS kitchen. Not knowing I would eventually reclaim it, I included the little portrait in the larger painting because I just wanted a copy, not to make any particular point. But I dooo like to be meta, not in a meta-narrative sense because that would not be cool, but in the sense that the people from the PY3701 module complement me on my extraordinary metaness.

Nathan Ford